Gossip -- A form of workplace violence (Part One) Published Jan. 29, 2010 By Capt. Darrell Bogan Equal Opportunity DOBBINS AIR RESERVE BASE, Ga. -- *Editor's Note: This is part one of a three-part series on gossip in the workplace* Have you heard the latest gossip? No need to raise your hand; I am willing to bet most of you have. What you probably did not know is that gossip is a form of workplace violence. You may have heard me speak about gossip at civilian commander's call last week where I stated that I have heard more gossip and rumors in my two and a half years here at Dobbins than I have in my 20-year Air Force career. It begs to question, why do people gossip? Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D., authored a piece about gossip in the workplace. He states that gossip is any language that would cause another harm, pain or confusion that is used outside the presence of the one for whom it is intended. "To many folks, the idea of "workplace violence" connotes the physical harm that one may do to another. However, there is another form of workplace violence that is as dangerous and insidious, and this is workplace gossip,' he wrote. I must admit that I really became passionate about the negative impact that gossip and rumors have on the human relations climate of an organization when I was TDY and a woman visited me in tears to tell me some of the vicious things her co-workers were saying about her. The environment she worked in became so hostile that she wanted to resign her position. Some may say, well she needs to develop thick skin and not be so sensitive. Believe me, I've heard that argument before. But put yourself in her shoes for a moment. Imagine it were you that your co-workers created rumors and gossiped about smudging your name. How do you think it would make you feel? "Gossip is essentially a form of attack, which often arises from an individual's conscious and unconscious fears," Dr. Vajda wrote. For some people, their ostensible commitment "not to gossip" is easily lost in their fears, anxieties, or concerns about what their life might be like if they stopped gossiping. For example, they may ask themselves, "Who would I be then?" What would I do then?" "How would I be one of the guys?" "Would I have to eat lunch alone?" "Would I lose all my friends?" The statement above tells me that gossip becomes a part of an individual's identity. It becomes part of who they are and not just what they do. Some people are intense gossipers, it is the foundation underneath their feet. Imagine if you decided not to "hangout" with gossipers anymore, what then would your life look like? Would they marginalize you? Would you no longer be part of the clique? Dr. Vajda wrote that some broader definitions of gossip not only relate to "negative" remarks, but even extend to "positive" or "neutral" remarks that are focused on making conversation that is centered on the activities/behaviors of others, again, outside the presence of that person. Stopping the practice of "talking about others" is challenging for many. Why? Many people just can't be authentic in life, according to Dr. Vajda. So, many revert to the self-defense mechanism of gossiping, which is a defense mechanism or self-protection device they use to so they never have to "show up." For these folks, gossiping is a strategy for protecting against revealing one's real or true self. "These people have walked around for so long wearing masks and assuming false identities, that opening up and revealing who they really are is just downright frightening and threatening," Dr Vajda wrote. So, one's inner desire to be authentic and sincere, and not gossip, needs to emerge from a person's deep sense of integrity and from a conscious, heart-felt desire to be harmless in the context of their life and in their interactions with others.
