Gossip: A form of workplace violence (Part Two)

  • Published
  • By Capt. Darrell Bogan
  • 94th Equal Opportunity
DOBBINS AIR RESERVE BASE, Ga. --  *Editor's Note: This is part two of a three-part series on gossip in the workplace*

Our series on gossip has sparked a lot of conversation on the base.

I even had someone corner me to argue their point on gossip and wanted me to define what I mean. You ever hear the saying, 'A hit dog will holler'? I got the impression that person was feeling a little guilty and wanted to justify why they gossip. It was a bankrupt argument.

Gossip has a negative impact on the human relations climate of an organization. It wreaks insurmountable damage on morale and it distracts from the mission. It causes harm and creates an unfriendly, unwelcomed, unhealthy, and unwanted environment.

Dr. Peter G. Vajda, wrote that gossip is a fear-based behavior.  So one's need for self-protection -- for example, not showing their true colors -- is often greater than one's initial commitment  to not gossip. This self protection brings a kind of pseudo safety and false sense of well-being that might otherwise be in jeopardy.  So people continue to gossip to keep the focus on "someone else and not themselves."

I recognize that it is not easy to reframe from gossiping. Gossip is popular. There is even a television show called Gossip Girl. During the February Unit Training Assembly, several people stopped by to tell their tale about something or someone's business; sharing half-truths and saying that "perception is reality," a statement often heard around Dobbins.

I encourage you not to approach the wall of perception and stop. I say wall because one's perceptions can create a barrier to communication. Just think what if your perception is wrong. A lot of gossip occurs from a person's perception of someone or something. I encourage you to explore the situation in search of the truth. Most times your perception will be wrong.

Leaders must address gossip and rumors and not allow them to fester. Military members and civilian employees must not allow themselves to get "caught up" in gossip. I am talking about the type of gossip that ruins carriers and reputations, that breaks up friendships and disrupts morale. We should encourage each other to greatness, elevate and lift each other up, instead of spreading gossip and tearing each other down.

Dr. Vajda wrote that without a profound inner commitment to harmlessness, an injunction to "stop gossiping," for example, is simply an "outer" induced rule or policy that can often bring up ego-based behaviors in reaction to the "rule." So, one continues to find "excuses" (since there's never a "reason") to gossip.

From this outer perspective toward gossiping, some people may take on the role of being an enforcer of the rule. Others may not want to "enforce" the rule because they don't wish to be perceived as too assertive, too aggressive, too pushy, or too tough when they call out others on their gossiping, according to Dr. Vajda. In addition, others may not want to be identified as a "do gooder", "crusader," or "spiritual" Dr. Vajda wrote.

Dr. Vajda also pointed out that there are people who want or need to be liked and accepted, and who want or need others to feel comfortable with them, and so they often continue to engage in the gossip when approached. Why? They don't want to feel like the "odd one out." He stressed that the commitment not to gossip often dissipates rather quickly over time.

Gossip is a form of workplace violence, according to Dr. Vajda. To be free from inflicting this violence on others we need to explore and heal the split between our outer self and inner self. Only then can we live honest, sincere and responsible lives in the workplace, and out.

*Part three will focus on how to coach yourself to not gossip.*